vox nihili

My, this is quite something! At the very begining I was under the impression the character had been hit by a car or grievously injured in some way (becuase of ...

Pain wells up in me My heart is weary My jet-black hair brushes my face I push it back These four lines are rather disjointed, without any sort of smooth ...

This is a very dramatic piece. What hooked me from the begining was the sensory details, the vibrant images and sensations. You're really gifted in that aspect. I loved it. ...

Other people have already pretty much covered all the bases for "criticism" so I'll focus more on the scenario. One: Your intro is great. A kid who is flying to ...

I love the description. It has so much emotion! I really can't come up with anything at all to suggest. The phrase "smoldering wish" is so dramatic! In the begining, ...

Cool poem. Best thing I can come up with to say is try expanding it. I like the daring vibe it gives, and the rhyme is so straight-forwards, the meter ...

[ b]I watched as the moon rose slowly over the horizon. Her light tickled my skin and filled me with boundless energy. My eyes began to glow bright amber. I ...

Valentine, again, you've got a great story going! There are only a few places I could find anything to critique: When he's talking to Derek in the cafeteria, you left ...

This was a pretty interesting read. I have only a few suggestions. One: we have no idea (until the part about the boys' dorm) that the character is a guy, ...

Hi, I'm Voxina. I'll give you a review. I apologize in advance if I sound harsh. Okay, first, it needs punctuation. Try experimenting with commas, periods, semicolons, etc. It doesn't ...

This is quite good, Lilly. You pulled of the rhyme wonderfully; it isn't corny or awkward, and is delicate. A few edits: "Even it's" It's should be its "pit less ...

Hi, Rockstarz. I'm Voxina. I'll give you a review. You have a great piece. The title attracted me as soon as I read it. The flow is quite good, and ...

Hi, welcome to YWS! I'm Voxina. Feel free to PM me if you have questions or want to talk to someone. I'll give you a review. First, to let you ...

Hi, I'm Voxina. I'm here to give you a review. I apologize if this sounds harsh, it's just to help make the poem better... which, by the way, is a ...

Hi, Voxina here! I'll give you a review as you ask. Next time, though, don't post just to ask for reviews. It's really spamming, and it takes up the forums ...